Warning- Powered
Paragliding
can be addictive and have serious implications.
Be careful of AIDS -
Aviation
Induced Divorce Syndrome.
After
every flight,
Qantas
pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the
mechanics
problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need
repair
or correction. The engineers read and correct the problem, and then
respond
in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was
taken,
and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never
let
it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here
are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted
by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By
the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an
accident.
(P = The problem logged by
the pilot)
(S = The solution and action
taken by the engineers)
P:
Left inside main tire
almost
needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left
inside
main tire.
P:
Test flight OK, except
auto-land
very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed
on this aircraft.
P:
Something loose in
cockpit.
S: Something tightened in
cockpit.
P:
Autopilot in
altitude-hold
mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent..
S: Cannot reproduce problem
on ground.
P:
Evidence of leak on
right
main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P:
DME volume
unbelievably
loud.
S: DME volume set to more
believable level.
P:
Friction locks cause
throttle
levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there
for.
P:
IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative
in OFF mode.
P:
Suspected crack in
windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P:
Number 3 engine
missing.
S: Engine found on right
wing
after brief search.
P:
Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to
straighten
up, fly right, and be serious.
P:
Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar
with lyrics.
P:
Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
P:
Noise coming from
under
instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a
hammer.
S: Took hammer away from
midget.
WISDOM FROM MILITARY
MANUALS AND BEYOND……
-------------------------------
'If the enemy is in range, so
are you.'
- Infantry Journal
-------------------------------------------
'It is generally inadvisable
to eject directly over the area you just bombed.'
- US. Air Force Manual
-------------------------------------------
'Whoever said the pen is
mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons.'
- General Mac Arthur
-------------------------------------------
'You, you, and you ... Panic.
The rest of you, come with me.'
- U.S. Marine Corp Gunnery
Sgt.
-------------------------------------------
'Tracers work both ways.'
- U.S. Army Ordnance
-------------------------------------------
'Five second fuses only last
three seconds.'
- Infantry Journal
-------------------------------------------
'Any ship can be a
minesweeper. Once.'
-------------------------------------------
'Never tell the Platoon
Sergeant you have nothing to do'
- Unknown Marine Recruit
-------------------------------------------
'If you see a bomb technician
running, try to keep up with him.'
- USAF Ammo Troop
-------------------------------------------
'Though I Fly Through the
Valley of Death , I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 50,000 Feet and
Climbing.'
-------------------------------------------
'You've never been lost until
you've been lost at Mach 3.'
- Paul F. Crickmore (test
pilot)
-------------------------------------------
'The only time you have too
much fuel is when you're on fire.'
-------------------------------------------
'If the wings are traveling
faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter -- and therefore,
unsafe.'
------------------------------------------------
'When one engine fails on a
twin-engine airplane you always have enough power left to get you to
the scene of the crash.'
-------------------------------------------
'What is the similarity
between air traffic controllers and pilots?
If a pilot screws up, the
pilot dies;
If ATC screws up, .... The
pilot dies.'
-------------------------------------------
'Never trade luck for skill.'
-------------------------------------------
The three most common
expressions (or famous last words), in aviation are:
'Why is it doing that?'
'Where are we?'
And ...
'Oh S...!'
---------------------------------------------
'Airspeed, altitude and
brains. Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight.'
-------------------------------------------
'Mankind has a perfect record
in aviation;
we have never left one up
there!'
-------------------------------------------
'Flying the airplane is more
important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable
of understanding
or doing anything about it.'
-------------------------------------------
'The Piper Cub is the safest
airplane in the world;
it can just barely kill you.'
- Attributed to Max Stanley
(Northrop test pilot)
-------------------------------------------
Airman, maintain thy air
speed, lest the earth rise up and smite you!
-------------------------------------------
'There is no reason to fly
through a thunderstorm in peacetime.'
Sign over the Squadron Ops.
Desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970
-------------------------------------------
'If something hasn't broken
on your helicopter, it's
about to.'
-------------------------------------------
'You know that your landing
gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the
terminal.'
-------------------------------------------
As the test pilot climbs out
of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the
crash landing, the crash truck arrives; the rescuer sees a bloodied
pilot and asks, 'What happened?'
The pilot's reply: 'I don't
know, I just got here myself!'
- Attributed to Ray Crandell
(Lockheed test pilot)
---------------------
"Learn how to fly a glider.
All planes can become one at anytime" Cpt "Sully" Sullenberger
Ohio Powered
Paragliding
20683 Hull Prairie
Road
Bowling Green,
OH
43402 |
Bruce
Brown - Owner
|
